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*Selfish Dreams*
Praised for my independence
They
don’t know why it’s one of my talents
I’ve found a way to disappear
Blend in with the absent crowd
Nobody
near to hear me scream
They never ask me how I feel
Well there’s something inside that pulls beneath my
skin
While this pain eats me alive
I paint that smile over my face
And stand beside my own
reflection
I should run away never saying Goodbye
But instead I put on my daily façade
forget
all about yesterday
Here I am left in the wake of my own mistakes
Now I’m
trapped in this memory
Another wave of tension has filled me up
that’s when I need you
to stay away from me
Everything you don’t say,
Makes me remember the time
The picture is there
but why should I care
You never wanted anything back from me
I said these selfish things when
they were really my own dreams
I don't know why I keep
Coming back to you
I can't seem to erase that moment
Why am I so pathetic that I don't give up
I know you're something special
But when I try to see you
I screw it all up
And make a fool of my self
Over and Over again
If i would die today
I wouldn't wonder why
I've had a great
life
I found my faith
I whitnessed god's hand
And cherished beautiful miracles
I've learned tough lessons
Cried
my tears
And laughed my laughs
Documented my life through poetry
Lead a life i hope somone might admire
I might not have fallen in love
Raised a family
Or traveled
the whole country
But i have loved a large family
Resembling a patchwork quilt,
They all suported me, despite their
differences
I have many good friends
Talked to complete strangers
And met those less fortunate than i
I am able to laugh at myself,
So i shall never cease to be
amused
I forgive those who wronged me
I prayed for my enemies
Asked forgivness of my un-holy sins
I'm not a perfect
princess, nobody is
I tell my family that i love them every chance i get
I act crazy and wild cause if i didn't
Life
would be so bland, colorless, and uneventful
I run without shoes
And walk without an umbrella
I've tried reading
a book upside-down
And seen a falling star
killed roses so they could live forever
Stayed up all night reading books
and listening to music
Colored my face with markers
And painted on my walls
Collected crap and carried it as gold
Lived
my life as my own person
I don't know anybody like me
I dought you do either
So tell me now...
Are you prepared to die today,
or would you prefer tomorow?
Please don't cry for me if i die today
Cry for me becasue i
died happy,
There aren't many people who can say what i just did
I hope your eyes are now opened.
*Slowly**
lets take it easy at first
ease our way in,cause i'm shy
and so are yo
so lets take a walk down the road
and get to know eachother
talk about what we want life to give us
about
all those sentimental topics
holding hands as the sun goes down
we'll make our way back
home,but before then
I wanna know who you are
what are your goals
where do your dreams lead
how strong is your
faith
who do you wanna spend the rest of your life with
when do you wanna settle down
why are you making me fall
so hard
i don't know that
but i do know i want a man who understands
me
who ain't afraid to take my hand
right inside that little church
and lead me outta town to a little house
with
golden fields all around
stay at home and raise our kids
do chores all day
and cook a feast every night
and before
we go to bed
i'll get down on my knees
and thank the Lord for blessing my family
well now our steps are slowing
we both don't want the night
to end
don't worry honey we'll be alright
time won't pass us by
tomorrows another day
we can sit and talk
and
ease our way in
as i walked in
you stoped and staired
obviously not expecting
to see me so soon
well
neither did i
somethings just happen like that
life will throw stuff at you unexpectedly
and leave you wondering
if that
really just happened
maybe you were still dreaming
but no you weren't
cause i'm
still here
just look around
you can see me
lets go somewhere quiet
where only you and i can talk
waste the day away
just you and me
i want it just like
that
untill the moment comes
when you tell me you still wanna wait
how much time do you need
how much space do
you want
so i can take my time and space
somewhere else untill you're ready
stars on a clear night
can tell so many stories
they just wait for you
to tell them yours
and once you bring
your
hopes and dreams to them
the universe opens up to you
the clarity is solely yours
a
secret to hold deep in your chest
that you know what lifes all about
for that one deep glimpse of faith
you know
where your soul is going to lead
somewhere among the stars
waiting to help bring someone home
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